In my last post I told you about Le Pig.
He is s a character for sure. I also told you about “The Little,” who was a character too.
I just remembered that he had another nickname. We called him “The Weasel."
Le Pig was a much better player until he got too drunk. The Weasel did everything he could for that to occur as soon as possible when they played.
Which they did, every night and all night long.
Nature Isn't Pretty
“Do you want a glass of wine?”
“No, I don’t want to drink today.”
“But just a glass of wine. It’s hardly drinking.”
“No!”
“I'll order for you just in case you have a change of heart. Waiter! Can we have a double brandy here for my friend. Put it on my tab.”
“I said no.”
“Yes, of course you did. You don’t have to drink it.”
“You’re such a low life.”
“Yes, yes. Let's play the next hand.”
Perhaps you think it's pretty low to do something like that to an alcoholic?
I agree. But nature isn’t pretty, and since Le Pig was such an asshole nobody cared.
The Procedure Repeated Itself
The fact that he bluffed away all the money when drunk probably was a big part of the equation as well.
As a club owner I would like to think that I would have stopped it if I was there. I had more integrity than most at the club but I disliked Le Pig too so I can't say for sure.
The irony of it all was that Le Pig only behaved badly when drunk. But then again he was always drinking.
It didn’t take long before he took a sip of the brandy. It didn’t take much longer before the glass was empty. But before then The Weasel had already ordered another double brandy.
The procedure repeated itself a few more rounds and Le Pig soon was in the state everybody wanted him in.
Which Hand Fed Him and Which Mouth Insulted Him
Suddenly Le Pig's stomach turned on him and he puked in a litter basket in the corner of the room. The waiter came by to locate the origin of the noise.
The Weasel told him to put the litter basket next to Le Pig in case he wanted to relieve himself again - which seemed like a high probability – and serve him another double brandy.
Le Pig said no but The Weasel insisted. Since the waiter got plenty of tips from him he usually obeyed every command. But this was a bit much, even for him.
“Does he really need another one?”
“Yes!”
“No.” said Le Pig while wiping his mouth of the remains
The waiter paused for a few seconds – probably reflecting on which hand fed him and which mouth insulted him - then put the litter basket next to Le Pig and went for another double brandy.
Le Pig Lost Heavily
The Weasel said “Cheers” as soon as the double brandy was placed on the table and raised his own bottle of Perrier for a sip.
“I hate you,” said Le Pig as he drank the brandy.
“Yes, yes. Now, let's play the next hand.”
As you've already figured out Le Pig lost heavily that night and even more that morning. The next evening the usual suspects showed up and the cards were flying again.
So did the insults. Le Pig was really upset and told The Weasel that he was the sleaziest lowlife that ever existed. He said a lot of other things, too, but that was the constructive part.
“Yes, yes. Now let's play the next hand," The Weasel said smiling.
As a club owner you really liked the way The Weasel could take an insult and always make sure that the game moved on.
Now That Was Too Much
But Le Pig wanted another reaction. He stood up, pulled down his pants and displayed his private parts over the table. Along with some suggestions for what The Weasel could do with it.
Now that was too much. But once you let things slide it becomes a slippery slope and it’s hard to draw the line in the sliding mud.
I probably would have let it slide as well, but not what he did next. Read about it on Monday.
About Ken Lennaárd:
Sweden's most controversial poker blogger Ken Lennaárd has been around the professional poker circuit for almost 20 years. Among his numerous accomplishments are Swedish Championships both live and online, three WSOP final tables and over $1.5m in live earnings. He's now bringing his singular poker voice to the English world via PokerListings.com. Look for new posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
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