Last week I told you about the time Le Pig dropped his junk on the poker table.
It wasn’t pretty and nobody was impressed.
What did Le Pig expect?
His audience were poker players who weren't interested in anything else but the next hand.
You could light a fire on the other side of the room and they'd keep playing.
They'd probably be upset when the firemen came along and disturbed the game.
Le Pig Unzipped Again
The game died shortly after Le Pig's unique display at the table.
There were no fish around and close to zero chance to get Le Pig on the alcohol wagon and off the clip again so there was no point in playing.
Some of the piranhas went home. Some waited for the bars to close in hopes of a fish or two wobbling in the club's direction at 3 am.
There was nothing to do since there was no game. Online poker rooms didn’t exist at the time. So Le Pig decided to go to a bar and have a drink.
After a dirty dozen or so he came back to the club in the middle of the night and found The Weasel sleeping on the couch in the TV room.
Le Pig unzipped again and went to work with his little baldhead against The Weasel's big bald head. According to an eyewitness it wasn’t nice at all and the activity was profound and prolonged.
I wonder what The Weasel was dreaming of?
Principles Before Safety
It came to my attention and the slippery thing was definitely over every line that existed. I had to ban Le Pig.
So I did. For a month. It was the only ban I had to issue during my time as club manager and I thought it was warranted.
Le Pig did not. He told me that I couldn’t do that, that I had no power and that I was a lot of things. “Stupid idiot” was the nicest of them.
I told him that my word was final and his ban started tomorrow. Then he went berserk.
He explained that he was completely mental (I believed him), that he was going to walk back and forth on the bridge outside the club all night long until I came out (very believable, too) and then he would kill me (I couldn’t rule it out).
I probably would have let that slide, too, but he said all of this at the poker table in front of 10 guys. I had my credibility to think of. You know, principles before personal safety.
The Sicilian Understood Respect
“Okay, now you are banned for two months.”
Then he really let me have it.
There were rumors about an Italian at the club. He was supposed to be one of the top guys in the Stockholm underworld. Or even The Top Guy.
There were a lot of signs that pointed in that direction. Like, for example, that there never was a robbery at the club.
One time he whistled the theme song of The Godfather at the table. Everybody stopped playing and looked at him.
“What? It's a lullaby my mother used to hum to me when I was a child back in Sicily.”
Le Pig used to behave well in front of The Sicilian and had his good eye so I wasn’t surprised when The Sicilian wanted a private meeting with me the next day.
“Ken, the club is all he has. He needs to come here. He will not survive without it.”
“I know, but he went over the line.”
“Ken, I know he can be a bit rough around the edges...”
“This was too much.”
“Ken, can you let him back tomorrow as a personal favor to me?”
I told him what Le Pig had smeared in The Weasel's face. The Sicilian's poker face cracked from ear-to-ear in disgust.
“Then he threatened to kill me and he was very detailed about it. And he did it in front of everybody. I don’t think a two-month ban is overreacting.”
“Okay, I see.”
The Sicilian understood something about respect. Or in this instance, disrespect.
Thank You for Banning Me
Le Pig left for good. He had to relocate to get a game and chose The Vic in London. It was perfect for him because they closed at 5 am.
When he was getting close to being too drunk they closed the action. So he played his A-game as half drunk all the time and he went home a big winner almost every day.
When I went there half a year later he shook my hand and thanked me.
“It's the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for banning me!”
I guess I should have said that he deserved all the credit himself, but I was too perplexed to speak.
About Ken Lennaárd:
Sweden's most controversial poker blogger Ken Lennaárd has been around the professional poker circuit for almost 20 years. Among his numerous accomplishments are Swedish Championships both live and online, three WSOP final tables and over $1.5m in live earnings. He's now bringing his singular poker voice to the English world via PokerListings.com. Look for new posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Note: Opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not represent the views of PokerListings.com.
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