Anybody can play regardless of age, gender, body mass index or even bankroll.
I see the obstacles for women venturing into a poker world very much dominated by males.
Therefore I always try to encourage women to play on and off the green felt.
Just not my wife.
The Old Lady Did Well
It’s not a gender thing. In fact I’m more of a feminist than she is. It has to do with bad beat stories. I don’t want to listen to them from my wife.
Bad beat stories from beginners are absolutely the worst. They always leave out all the important information.
Like that they only called on the button with AA and got 200 bb in on the 875 flop against the idiot in the big blind with 96.
My wife is a celebrity in Sweden and was invited to the same freeroll tournament on a cruise ship as I was. She hardly knew the rules and had never played Texas Hold'em before.
David Sklansky was in a sort of similar predicament once and asked the old lady that needed help if she knew the rules of Blackjack, which she did.
He told her to fold everything except AA and KK to a certain level and then go all in with all Blackjack hands that were 20 or 21.
The old lady did well and cashed in the tournament.
I Was Outdrawn as Usual
I was a little bit more ambitious and wrote up hand ranges for every round. I told my wife that if she had any of those hands she should go all in. Otherwise, she should fold.
If somebody else had raised before she should go all-in with JJ+ and AQ+ and fold the rest.
I was outdrawn as usual and walked over to my wife. Everybody applauded because it obviously proved that my wife was the best in the family.
We had only played around 20 minutes or so but Anna already had a big stack after a double up. She was the chip leader at her table and moved in under the gun with 98 suited.
Everybody folded. I asked her what she was doing. She pointed at the chart that I had created -- more specifically at the all-in hands of round seven.
"It’s only level one," I said.
"No," she said. "It’s round seven."
She was counting a round as every time she got a new hand.
She Didn't Like the Way I Played
It was obviously my fault. I should have let her keep playing that way. In half an hour she would be all-in every hand. She probably would have won as well.
After the big success of being the best in the family she wanted to play more. So she did -- online.
She played freerolls. Sometimes she qualified to tournaments with real money buy-ins and prizes. Sometimes she even won a few dollars.
She was bitten by the bug. To speed up the learning process so the bad beat stories would improve at least I tried to help her with advice.
She didn’t want any. Besides, she didn’t like the way I played.
I played a lot of crappy hands and I bet without anything. Furthermore I was never allowed to sit behind her and watch.
Apparently I was making her nervous and annoying the shit out of her.
I Planned to Fold Everything
She was deep in a tournament that she had qualified to from another tournament. There were about 200 out of 2,000 left and the first prize was $2,000 or something like that.
But she had to go. I suggested that she wait for the break. But that was not an option.
I suggested that I relieve her and play 2-3 hands so she could relieve herself. She didn't like that. Not one bit.
Because she didn't like the way I play. But it was an emergency so she reluctantly had to agree.
"No bluffs," she said. And I promised.
I planned to fold everything like a good little boy but got KK on the second hand. I raised big and got one caller.
The flop came A-K-6 rainbow. I bet big and got a call. The turn was a 6. I bet big and got check-raised all-in.
The hands were turned over just as my wife came back. My opponent had A8.
"Look honey!"
"What? Are you all-in?"
She didn’t look happy. She actually looked upset. In fact almost angry, like I had betrayed her or something.
I didn’t have time to say anything more before the ace on the river.
But Honey
She gave me the stare. I thought of saying “Now you can take a dump too,” but thought better of it.
She kept on staring.
"But honey, I was a 96% favorite."
"You lost all my chips."
"But honey, I had pocket kings."
"You lost all my chips.
"But honey, I was a 96% favorite."
We had the same conversation about 10 more times that evening, but I still had to sleep on the couch.
About Ken Lennaárd:
Sweden's most controversial poker blogger Ken Lennaárd has been around the professional poker circuit for almost 20 years. Among his numerous accomplishments are Swedish Championships both live and online, three WSOP final tables and over $1.5m in live earnings. He's now bringing his singular poker voice to the English world via PokerListings.com. Look for new posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Note: Opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not represent the views of PokerListings.com.
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