It won't do to just use some software to bumhunt for you; actually, it will probably be forbidden.
It's a complete joke online these days. At any given level you have 20 heads-up tables with different guys waiting.
None of them will play each other.
When I sit down there's always a delay while the waiting player checks his stats. If I do get action he'll sit out after about 10 hands because he hasn't seen a bad play yet.
My aggression level is a tad too high, it seems. That's not poker. Not even close.
Tough Times Make Tough People
Do those wankers really tell friends and family that they're “poker pros?"
Probably. Sadly. And stupidly.
Back in the day you had to behave to sit down at the tables. You had to be nice, give action, and even sometimes give bad credit to keep the game going.
Unless you were a fish, of course. Then you could behave any way you liked.
I remember the struggle at Kortoxen in the '90s trying to grind out a living. Kortoxen was the equivalent to the legendary New York club Mayfair.
Kortoxen is equally legendary in Sweden; we just didn't have any fish.
It was a tough place to survive but one heck of a school. The nightly cash game was basically 5-6 piranhas waiting for a fish to drop by to feast on.
Most of the time no fish came so the only way to get value was to try to put one of the other piranhas on tilt. Not pretty, for sure. But tough times make tough people.
You learned to be creative and you developed alligator skin.
Then Online Poker Came Along
It was the same all around the world. People tried to get under the skin of others because fish were scarce.
Then online poker came along. The standards of real poker transferred online. And it became much worse.
The Internet offered anonymity and the kids behind the screen had no clue about real life and the potential dangers of calling people stuff.
The poker sites pretty much accepted anything. People talked about my mother in a degrading manner every day.
It's still hard to comprehend that the sites didn't care at all. I never used words like that, neither live nor online, because I've got class. And because I don't need to.
There are so many better ways to tilt your opponent, if you're in to that. One of my all time favorites was writing “YES, JUSTICE!” when outdrawing an idiot. Worked like a charm every time.
But this is not a blog about bad manners online. It's about being creative to get action.
I Could Telepathically Feel His Tilt
I was sitting at €5/€10 but there was no action a long time ago. I moved down to €1/€2 where three guys were playing.
The button raised my big blind to €6. I went all-in with my crap hand for €200.
He folded. I showed my 94, or whatever it was, and wrote, “Thanks for the pizza!” and sat out.
Sure enough he came looking for me at €2/€4, where I waited for him. I raised from the button and he made a huge raise to €37 or something.
I had K7s and figured I was ahead of his 100% range so I shoved. He almost timed out, and then he folded.
I could actually telepathically feel his tilt.
It's Still Profitable to Be Creative in Poker
The game was on. He lost his first €200, and then his next buy-in. He reloaded for €400.
This was guaranteed a big portion of his bankroll and he raised like crazy. He outdrew me and all of a sudden he was sitting with €818 in front of him - up €18.
He sat out from the small blind and wrote: “Thanks for the pizzas!” He had risked his whole bankroll (with extra pepperoni) for that, so I guess it was worth it.
The evolution of mankind has not taking a big leap since 2006. It's still profitable to be creative in poker -- and very soon it will be a necessity.
About Ken Lennaárd:
Sweden's most controversial poker blogger Ken Lennaárd has been around the professional poker circuit for almost 20 years. Among his numerous accomplishments are Swedish Championships both live and online, three WSOP final tables and over $1.5m in live earnings. He's now bringing his singular poker voice to the English world via PokerListings.com. Look for new posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Note: Opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not represent the views of PokerListings.com.
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