WSOP Rant: $16 Salads and No Place to Do Yoga? Help Us, FLOTUS

Take a simple stroll around the Poker Kitchen in the Rio as an example.

A few days ago I joined the PokerNews UK Editor, Matthew Pitt, as he looked for something healthy to eat.

“$16 for a f**ing salad!” he said. Now that’s what I call respect for money. 

Two days later I sat with Finnish poker pro Lauri Pesonen as he tucked into a $16 plate of Poker Kitchen food. I asked him if it bothers him that he spends so much money on food when at poker tournaments.

“$16 is not bad. It’s quite healthy as well.”

OMG. You Killed Kenney

I am afraid I have to side with my dear friend Pitt the Younger on this one. $16 for a few leaves. Is it any wonder that people plump for the $2 chocolate bar?

At what cost, health?

 

The new move in poker has nothing to do with merging ranges or building four-betting strategies; instead it’s all about being healthy.

Getting in touch with your spiritual side, losing weight, getting trim, eating well and thinking smarter.

As I left Pesonen to eat his $16 pile of leaves I looked across the Rio and for a split second I thought I saw Bryn Kenney -- except it couldn’t be Kenney.

I’m not saying that Kenney’s frame was ever in the Butterbean ballpark, but he had a bit of meat on those bones.

But it was Kenney. Skinny Kenney.

‘You killed Kenney … you bastard, ” I said to him.

Man he looked good. So what had he been up to?

“You know. Eating the right things, exercising and cutting down on the partying.”

What's eating Faraz Jaka?

 

Have You Seen Faraz Jaka Lately?

Kenney is the new wave of the new wave. They are all at it.

Ryan D’Angelo and Ronit Chamani have their own YouTube channel where they celebrate the virtues of a raw food diet, and both look great as a consequence.

And have you seen Faraz Jaka lately? It’s no wonder they call him The Toilet, because to lose that much weight he must be living on it. 

“I’ve been cleansing,” said Jaka, “I did a gallbladder cleanse which was particularly interesting.”

Been there, done that and can confirm that it was very interesting, as you feel the little stones being squeezed out of your anus – all very love-beady.

Then there is LuckyChewy.

The new Zen Master of poker who seems more concerned with keeping up his meditation and yoga schedule than turning up for $1k events.

A Place to Send Bad Beats to the Universe

So the poker world is going health freak crazy. And that’s a good thing. But we seriously need Caesars to help us out a bit.

The poker kitchen needs healthier options and at affordable prices. Give us raw juices, healthy snacks and plenty of fruit and veg.

Then above and beyond food we need places where we can meditate, stretch, do some yoga, chill out and send our bad beats ethereally to the universe.

Some players have even decided to bypass the WSOP and go straight to the top. Eric Baldwin sent a personal tweet to the First Lady:

.@FLOTUS can you do something about salads being $16 in the poker kitchen this year?

Dan O’Brien went one further:

@basebaldy @FLOTUS There no way the @BarackObama I know would stand for $16 salads in a convenience kitchen. Please help!

But perhaps Brent Hanks hit the nail on the head:

@DanOBrienPoker @basebaldy @FLOTUS @BarackObama That's what you pussies get for eating salads!! :-)